


Tail that Wags the Hound

by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions)



Series: Don't Let's Start [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Season/Series 03, Shiro has a clone and he's dealing with that, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 00:12:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11862582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticReactions/pseuds/BossToaster
Summary: Shiro adjusts.





	Tail that Wags the Hound

Shiro hadn’t known it would be this hard to settle back with the team.

When they’d heard reports of Lotor’s ship coming and going from a small base halfway across the universe, Keith had immediately said that Shiro should be the one to take the Black Lion.

Honestly, Shiro had been about to.  It had been months without Black, and Shiro ached to be back in that seat and doing at what he loved.  He wanted to be fighting again, making a difference and helping defeat the Galra.  It was who Shiro was, now.  Baked into the bones of him.

But there had been a tension to the question.  To the set of Keith’s shoulders, nearly reluctant.  Worried, maybe.  That had been enough to give Shiro pause before accepting the offer.  Just a second, barely enough time to look around the room.

The chance to spot Ryou look suddenly uncomfortable.

The chance to realize this conversation must have happened before, when they still thought the clone was Shiro.

Having Ryou around was still strange.  Uncomfortable, really.  Shiro had no idea he even _had_ a clone.  Presumably he hadn’t, when he’d escaped.  Otherwise, why wouldn’t Ulaz say something?  There hadn’t been a lot of time, but enough to say, ‘also, Haggar was making extra copies of you, maybe keep an eye out in case she tries to trick you.’

Knowing the man standing there had Shiro’s face, had Shiro’s memories, but for Haggar’s purposes was a wound somewhere he hadn’t known could hurt.  The Galra had violated him so many ways, but he hadn’t even suspected something like this.  

It was sickening, in a way that made dealing with Ryou... well, difficult.

Shiro was determined not to make any of the same mistakes Ryou had.

So he smiled and clapped Keith on the shoulder instead.  “No, the Black Lion is yours.  You lead.  I’ll keep an eye on you from up here, alright?”

Keith hadn’t looked reassured by that.  His eyes flickered to Ryou again, then to Shiro.  “Are you sure?”

“Of course,” Shiro replied, casual as he could manage.  Stepping back itched under his skin, but he’d put Keith in this position in the first place.  “I’m still recovering from when Black teleported me.  I’m not at full strength anyway.  You’re the better choice.”

It was putting the conversation off for another day, but that was fine with Shiro.  He really was weakened by the trip, and the weeks of recovery and boredom on the rebel planet hadn’t kept him in the best shape.  

Keith was better suited for the job.

Which was why Shiro hadn’t even gone into Black’s hangar since he got back.

Well, one reason.

Keith had still stayed tense, but he’d nodded and pulled on his helmet.  “Alright.  Let’s get ready to go.”  At his word, the group filed out.

Watching them, Shiro bit down on his tongue and wondered why he felt _wrong._

As soon as they were out the door, he turned on Ryou.  “What was that about?”

Ryou’s lips pressed thin, and shoved his hands into his pockets.  “It was-”  Then he paused, gaze suddenly sharpening.  “Actually, I want to do an experiment.  I’m not going to tell you.”

The words were stunning enough that Shiro froze.  “I’m sorry, what?”

“I want to see what happens,” Ryou replied, still casual.  He sat down in Lance’s blue chair, legs sprawled out in front of him.  “So I’m not going to tell you what happened yet.  After.”

Shiro frowned at him, shoulders tensing.  “Whatever you did, I should know about it so I can keep from doing further harm.”

But Ryou only shrugged.  “I won’t let anything bad happen.  I just want to see.”  At Shiro’s glare, he sighed.  “Seriously, it won’t be a big deal.  I swear.  Nothing will happen, nothing’s going to blow up, everyone will be fine.  I want to check to see what Haggar put in the arm, compared to a control group.  Alright?  Science.” He leaned forward in the chair, so he could see Matt just over Shiro’s shoulder.  “Back me up here.”

Considering them both, Matt hummed.  “It’s not going to put them in any danger, Shiro not knowing?”

“Nah,” Ryou replied.  His lips thinned and his shoulders tensed.  “I wouldn’t do that.  I swear, I won’t.”

“I know as well,” Coran offered cheerfully, glancing at them all down his nose that he had to remind them.  Shiro flushed at the mild chastisement.  “I think it’s a worthwhile test.  I’m curious as well..  We tried to take apart the arm to understand how it was influencing Ryou, but there was a limited amount of data we could pull once it was off.  This is a good way of testing.”

Shiro slowly nodded, taking a deep breath.  “Alright, fine.”  His tone came out darker than he’d have liked.  “We’ll make an important mission an experiment.  Sure.”

“And this time I get to be the original.”

Shiro’s glare did nothing to quell Ryou’s smirk.

For the most part, Shiro tried to ignore Ryou’s curious eyes.  Whatever Ryou had done, both he and Coran seemed to think it was linked to the arm.  So it didn’t matter.  Shiro’s actions were his own, period.  The mistakes Ryou had made were on him, not on Shiro. He’d show him how the original would act.

Shiro watched like a hawk as the lions spread out and began to descend a good distance from the base.  The Blue Lion’s sonar gun appeared, prepared to scan and send back data on whatever it was that interested Lotor here.

Behind him, Matt moved to stand behind the blue paladin chair, then bent down to stage whisper.  “Do I get to know what we’re looking for?”

Ryou hummed.  “Yeah, sure.  C’mere.”  

Grinning, Matt bent in, and Ryou cupped his hand next to his ear and whispered to him, like they were middle schoolers sharing a secret.

Shiro grit his teeth and ignored the surge of irritation.

On screen, Allura scanned the base.  Shiro leaned back, waiting for the information to automatically pop up onto the screen.

It didn’t.  Because he was on the castle, not in the Black Lion.

“I’ve got the layout,” Pidge told them, a frown to her voice.  “Seems like there’s two main rooms in the center, but I can’t tell what’s in them.  Here’s the optimal path for getting there.”

Still nothing on screen.  Shiro’s hands twitched at his side.  How was he supposed to help if he couldn’t see what was going on?

“Alright,” Keith replied.  “Is there just the one good path, Pidge?  Or is there two?”

“There’s several.  Here’s the next best one.”

There was a slight pause.  “We should split up to look into this.  Pidge and Lance, you go in the back way, and Hunk, Allura and I will take the front.”

“You got it,” Lance agreed. “You guys feel free to be nice and loud for us.”

“That’s the plan.”

The pressure in Shiro’s chest built until it felt like it would crack through him.  “Should you be splitting up?” He asked, the words burst out like water from a geyser.  “You have no idea what you’re getting into, you should stick together.”

This time, the silence was longer.  Shiro swallowed hard, tension making his shoulders ache.

“I think Keith’s plan is wise,” Allura said, voice firm.  “I’d rather do this quickly and quietly if possible.”

But-

It wasn’t a bad plan.  A little risky, maybe, but Shiro had them split up all the time.  It was just-

What if something went wrong?  Did they know what to look for?  If something happened, Shiro wasn’t going to be there to react and help.  So they should be playing it safer.

This wasn’t his command.  Shiro forced himself to open his mouth.  “Alright, just stay safe.”  He couldn’t manage to make his tone as agreeable as he liked.

“We’ve got this,” Hunk replied.  “It’s just a little base.”  Without any more acknowledgement, all the lions began to fly, splitting up into two groups and arching to either side of the base.

Only then did Shiro remember his audience.

He glanced back, eyes narrowed and Ryou and Matt.  They were both openly watching him, and Ryou gave a little wave with his Altean prosthetic.  Matt’s voice stayed utterly neutral, betraying nothing.

He was trying not to contaminate the results.

Bristling, Shiro looked away again.

Instead he focused on what displays Coran could bring up, keeping careful watch over each paladin’s vitals and listening to their back and forth as they got into position.  Keith, Allura and Hunk entered first, and Pidge and Lance slipped in the other entrance shortly after.

The first few droids were dispatched quickly.  They were caught off guard, and no match for experienced paladins.

The tension in Shiro’s chest didn’t lessen at all.

“Seems pretty quiet over here,” Keith commented.  “How are you two doing?”

“I’m bored,” Lance shot back playfully.  “Are we there yet?”

Pidge snorted.  “Just keep an eye out.  I’m overriding the lock systems, you can wait five minutes.”

“Maybe this really isn’t any place that important,” Hunk offered.  “I mean, it might be, but... Lotor’s ship has to get, like, supplies and gas somewhere?  It’s possible this is just a way station.”

Allura hummed.  “It’s possible.  The design of this base wasn’t anything unique, as far as I could tell.”

“We’ll keep an eye out anyway,” Keith replied.  

Biting on his bottom lip, Shiro leaned into the console.  “Don’t let your guard down,” he reminded them.  “It could also be a trap.  Lotor knows we can track him.”

“We didn’t track him,” Pidge pointed out.  “Not really.  We just heard he was here a bunch.”

“Regardless,” Shiro replied, tone hardening.  “That’s not reason to act like there’s no threat.”

Keith made a frustrated noise.  “We’re not, Shiro.”

“I just want to-”

“Okay, enough of this.”

A hand grabbed onto the back of Shiro’s armor, pulling him away from the displays.  He tried to jerk away, but Ryou’s grip remained strong.  

Staring back at him, Ryou raised his brows.  “Told you I’d stop you.”

“Stop me from helping?” Shiro shot back.

Ryou only snorted.  “You guys have this handled,” he told the comms, tone nearly bored.  “Matt, give us a call if something comes up?”

Now lounging in the blue paladin chair Ryou had abandoned, Matt saluted them.  “Can do?  Coran the Man and I have got this, right?”

“As I always do,” Coran replied cheerfully.

“Awesome.”  With that, Ryou started to push Shiro’s back, shoving him toward the door.  “Have fun, everyone.”

There were replies, but they were lost as the door shut behind them.

Immediately, Shiro whirled on Ryou.  “What are you doing?”  He started to walk back to the control room, but Ryou stepped in front of him, arms crossed.

“I told you, I’m stopping you before anyone gets hurt,” Ryou replied.  “Turns out that part of my behavior wasn’t all Haggar.  A lot of it was just me.  You.  Us.”  He lifted his chin.  “You’ve got to let Keith lead the team.”

Shiro scowled back.  “I am!  I’m not stopping him.”

“You are,” Ryou replied, voice hard.  “Because if you second guess every little comment they make, you’re only making it harder for them to concentrate.  They’ll be fine.  This is a light mission.  Let it go.”

“But what-”

Ryou snorted, interrupting him.  “What if something goes wrong?” He asked, voice utterly flat, nearly dead.  “What if they don’t notice something you would have?  What if they make a wrong decision and someone gets hurt?  What if someone gets the drop on them?  What if their lack of experience means they miss a trap?  What if they need you?”  He tilted his head.  “Did I miss any big ones?”

Opening his mouth, Shiro shook his head.  “If you know all that, why are you kicking me out?”

“Because they won’t,” Ryou replied.  “Learned that the hard way.  If they do, they’ll get out of it.  And you barking contradictions into the comms isn’t going to help.”

It would make Shiro feel better, though.

Shit.

“I-”  Shiro racked his brain, trying to think of proof that Ryou was wrong.  That Shiro was more helpful than hurtful.

He didn’t find it.

The knowledge settled like a rock in his stomach.

“Hey,” Ryou murmured, tone suddenly much gentler.  Shiro didn’t look up.  “It sucks.  It does.  But they’ll be okay.  They’ll come back to you.  That’s the most important thing.”

Shiro’s stomach twisted.  He closed his eyes hard and took a deep breath.  “You’re right.  That’s the priority.  I just- they’re my team.”

The three words, small as they were, held a wealth of meaning.

Shiro wanted to help them.  He wanted to do something, to participate, to know he was making a difference.  He wanted to keep them safe, to guide them.

Shiro wanted to be useful.  He wanted to be part of the team.

He didn’t want to be told his participation hurt them.

“I know,” Ryou replied, voice very small.

Looking up, Shiro met Ryou’s eyes again.  There was deep empathy there, like Ryou knew exactly how Shiro was feeling.

Because he did.

“I’m sorry,” Shiro murmured.

“It’s fine,” Ryou replied, straightening his shoulders.  He visibly pulled himself together.  It was downright eerie to see Shiro’s own tendencies reflected back at him.  “Once we turned off the arm, I knew what I was in for.  I’m lucky I get what I have.”

“No, you’re not,” Shiro replied, a twist to his lips.  “Neither of us are lucky.  Ever.”

Ryou let out a bark of laughter.  “Fair enough.  And you have one advantage one me.  Well, alright, a few, but a big one.  You just haven’t used it.”  He tilted his head at Shiro.  “Have you been to the Black Lion since you got back?”

Shiro tensed.  He didn’t speak, which was answer enough.

“Why?”

Shrugging, Shiro met his eyes.  “I’m still recovering.  I’d rather not strain that.”

“Mmm, bullshit.”  Ryou arched a brow at him.  “I know your head too well for that, remember?  That doesn’t matter to you.  So why not?”

Shiro opened his mouth to lie again, but Ryou stared him down.

Dammit.  That was weird.

This hard line confrontation wasn’t something Shiro would do. If it was one of his team, he’d take them aside for a quiet talk,  He’d build up to the conversation, let them know whatever was bothering them, they could handle it as a team.

The different strategy actually made Shiro feel better.  It wasn’t so much like he was talking to a clone.  It was like talking to a stranger.  A relative he’d never known.  The twin who’s name Ryou took.

“Because of you,” Shiro replied.  “The Black Lion wouldn’t take you.”

Ryou’s brows rose.  “That’s why?  The lion isn’t going to reject you because of me.  You know what that cat calls me?   _‘Not-him’_ or _‘Not-mine’._  For the whole sentence I could get.”

Unable to help it, Shiro’s lips pulled up.  “He does?”

“Annoyingly.  So the cat is the cat until I rank a name.”  Ryou huffed, scowling darkly.  “Respect is earned and all that.”

“The Black Lion has earned your respect,” Shiro replied, just slightly sharp.

Ryou stared at him. “He’s earned yours,” he said flatly.  “And you’ve earned his.  I don’t get the chance.”

Looking at Ryou’s blank expression, Shiro imagined walking up to the Black Lion, fully expecting that bond back without any issues, and getting nothing in return.  To learning that for reasons Shiro couldn’t help, he could never be a paladin again.

His stomach dropped.

Ryou had never been in an enviable position, but Shiro hadn’t fully emphasized.  After all, he existed because of how Shiro had been violated.  Beyond that, he knew there’d been some level of conflict between Ryou and the rest of the team.  Keith hadn’t wanted to talk about it, and that worried Shiro.  What had Ryou _done?_

Maybe Ryou had started it.  But maybe it hadn’t been all him, either.

“I’m sorry,” Shiro finally replied, voice quiet.

Ryou shrugged.  “Eh.  You get the Black Lion, I get to be shirtless without feeling exposed.  We all have our advantages.”  He leaned against the wall, arms still crossed.  “You should try to talk, when Keith comes back.  The cat will be glad to have you back.”

“It’s been a long few weeks.”  Shiro moved, so he was leaning on the wall next to Ryou.  Their arms pressed together, Shiro’s left against Ryou’s prosthetic right.  The Altean metals were warmer than the Galra version.  “He has Keith as a paladin.  There’s no need to interrupt that team, like you said.”  He paused, staring at the far wall.  “They’re good, aren’t they?”

“They’re very good,” Ryou confirmed.  “They adapted quickly.  Astonishingly so.”

Stomach twisting, both in pride and sorrow, Shiro nodded.  “So we’re both useless.”

“No,” Ryou replied.  “I’ve found stuff I can do.  Coordinating the alliances helps, and I’ve been taking the lead on training.  Plus, there’s always so much data to go through, between the Blade and our allies.  Now someone has the time.”

Shiro winced.  “That’s hardly better than useless,” he admitted.  It wasn’t what Shiro wanted.  It wasn’t what he loved.  It wasn’t what made him feel like he was making a difference.

Head thumping against the wall, Ryou sighed.  “Don’t I know it.  But it’s better than the alternative.”  He glanced at Shiro out of the corner of his eye.  “And you can do better than me.  They can swap lions if they need to, at least a little.  You should talk to the Black Lion.  Know for sure you could step in to fly if they need you.”

“Back-up,” Shiro murmured, nodding.  “Doesn’t do us much good if they’re out there already.”

Ryou shrugged.  “Does if one of them is in the pod and won’t wake up for hours,” he shot back.  “Or if someone is sick.  Or if they’re needed somewhere else.  Stuff happens.  We’ve been- shit.  You’ve all been lucky so far.  Would you fly a ship without redundant systems?”

“No,” Shiro admitted.  “Or, only if I didn’t have a choice.”  He nodded slowly.  “What about the rest of the time?”

Shifting, Ryou turned to face Shiro, brows up.  “I dunno.  That’s on you, isn’t it?  Not my job to pick what you do.  Not your job to pick what I do.”

“And if what I pick is to go back inside?”

Ryou’s brows rose.  “Then I’ll kick your ass.”

Shiro met his gaze dead on.  “Good luck with that.”

Considering him, Ryou narrowed his eyes.  “Training room?”

“Yes.”

***

By the time the lions arrived back, Shiro had worked out most of his frustration.  They were, unsurprisingly, well matched.  After all, they knew each other’s weaknesses and strengths, and they fought the same way.

It was nice, actually.  In a very weird way.  Ryou already knew everything Shiro could do.  He didn’t need to hold back out of fear of hurting him.  Not only that, but Ryou already knew exactly where his skills came from, at least as well as Shiro did.  He was already thinking of Shiro’s time as Champion.  So why fight it?

Instead he _fought_ Ryou without holding back.

It felt good, honestly.  There was at least one person Shiro didn’t have to hide from.

“I better not have to go into the pod for this,” Ryou muttered, rolling his shoulder with a wince.

Shiro’s brows arched up.  “You shouldn’t have overextended and let me grab you.”

“You shouldn’t have had such an obvious open spot.”

“You shouldn’t have fallen for that bluff.  I thought you could _read me?”_

Ryou’s scowl deepened.  Reaching out, he gave Shiro a hard shove to his shoulder.  “You’re such a smug winner.”

That only made Shiro grin.  “You’re a poor loser, whining about your shoulder.”

“You might have dislocated it!”

“I did not, quit complaining.”

Ryou’s eyes narrowed.  “Next time, I’m going to have no sympathy for you when you’re on your ass.”

Laughing, Shiro ignored Ryou’s annoyed swipe and stepped through the doors to the control room.  They had to stop to shower, so the paladins arrived before they did.

Other.  Other paladins.  Shiro had to keep thinking that way.  The alternative was...

Well, the alternative was Ryou.

As they stepped in, Pidge didn’t bother to slow her explanation.  “Likely, the machine was using the energy readouts from that sample to try and find more like it.”

“Like the one I made,” Hunk agreed.  “But souped up.  And they were using quintessence tracking rather than our method.”

Lance glanced over and waved in greeting at Shiro and Ryou.  “So Lotor was just providing samples?”

“Probably funding it too, right?” Matt asked.  “From what you said, seems like it’s his pet project, not Haggar’s.”

Coran stroked his mustache.  “I wouldn’t be so sure of that.  Zarkon was fascinated by the transdimensional properties of that comet once.  It’s possible there are other factions in the Galra who study it and are interested.”

“It could be a number of players, but we know for sure Lotor is involved somehow,” Shiro agreed.  He stepped forward, shoulders straight and head held high.  “For now, we can use that to try and determine why he’s been so quiet for-”  He suddenly paused, looking over the room.

He was doing it again.

Shit.

Shiro took a step back, but a hand on his back stopped him.  He looked over to see Ryou smiling and waving him on.  

Looking at the group, he didn’t find the wariness he’d heard during the mission.  Instead, they just looked attentive.

“Go on,” Keith encouraged.  “How do we work from there?”

Slowly, Shiro nodded.

He was still a paladin, he hoped.  But if nothing else, he could do _this._

It wasn’t what Shiro wanted.  He loved being the Black Paladin, took pride and strength in leading the others.

But Keith had stepped into a position he didn’t want.  Lance had stepped forward to fill his place in the Red Lion, and Shiro hadn’t heard a word of complaint about losing Blue.

If they could do that, he could adjust to this.

So he opened his mouth and continued.

As he spoke, Keith stepped over to his side, and Ryou moved to Lance, fondly jostling his shoulder.  Matt stood behind Pidge, his head nearly resting on top of her hair.

The team had changed.  It wasn’t just a skeleton crew.

That meant Shiro’s role changed too, but he hoped it made them stronger.

***

As the debriefing ended, Shiro reached out and caught Keith’s arm.  “Hey.  Can we talk?”

Keith nodded, gaze steady.  “Yeah.  We probably should.”  Seemingly without meaning to, he looked over at Ryou.  He was currently sitting on the table in front of Lance, grinning at the dramatic recreation of their fight and how they’d blown up the comet detector.

Nodding, Shiro put his hand between Keith’s shoulder blades, starting to lead him out.  A second later, he pulled his hand back.  “Sorry.  I shouldn’t-”

“I don’t know what Ryou said,” Keith replied.  “But you don’t have to stop being you.”

Shrio’s hand twitched, unsure.  “Sure,” he agreed, light as he could manage.  “But it’s a bit hypocritical to push you around when I’m about to apologize for treating you like the same way.”

Sighing, Keith stepped through the door, and waited for Shiro to follow him.  He closed it behind him, leaving them in relative privacy.  “You meant well.”  He admitted, leaning against the wall.  “You want us safe.”

Apparently Shiro was going to be having a lot of serious conversations in this hallway today.

“I treated you like you weren’t capable of making command decisions,” Shiro replied.  “And for that I’m sorry.”

Keith’s lips pressed thin, but he nodded.  “It’s alright.  I just...”  He ran his hand through his hair.  “I hoped you wouldn’t.”

Stomach dropping, Shiro ducked his head.  “I’m sorry for letting you down.”

“What?  No.”  Keith’s eyes went wide.  “No, I didn’t mean-”  He paused, hand raised slightly like he was thinking it through like he spoke.  “It’s not that you did something wrong.  I mean, it’s better if you don’t do that, but it makes sense it’s hard on you.  You’re a backseat driver.”

That particular phrasing hadn’t occurred to Shiro in the circumstances, but he smiled and laughed.  “Yes, I am.  It’s not a surprise.”

“I’m disappointed because... I thought it was a Ryou thing.  That he was made to mess with us during missions, and that’s why he always disagreed.  That you would come back and think I was making the right choices.”  Keith frowned at his boots.  “I wanted you to think you’d made the right call when you asked me to lead.”

Shiro’s heart cracked in his chest.  Reaching out, he grabbed either of Keith’s shoulders and squeezed.  “I do think you’re doing a great job.  I really do.  You were right to split up.  There’s no right answer, just how we tackle problems and deal with what the universe throws at us.”

Looking up, Keith bit his bottom lip.  “Then why do you both snap at me?  What would you have done?”

“I don’t know,” Shiro replied honestly.  “I might have split you up, I might not have.  The reason I spoke up was I couldn’t tell why you’d chosen the way you did.  So in my head, I wondered if you were seeing everything I was.  If you were taking everything into account.  And you _were._  I know you do.  It’s why I wanted you to lead in the first place.  I just...”  Shiro’s shoulders slumped.  “I worry about you guys, without me there.  I can’t come help you if something happens.”

Keith looked up at him, and he didn’t look like the words made him feel better.  “That’s exactly what Ryou said, when he still thought he was you.”

Stomach dropping, Shrio pulled away.  “You think there’s something wrong with me too?”

“No, not that.”  Keith scrubbed over his face.  “I just owe Ryou an apology.  I thought he was saying it to manipulate me, because he was the fake.  But he was just being you.”

“Keith?  What happened?  What did Ryou do?”

Keith’s head popped up, eyes wide.  “Why do you think it was him?”

“Because you’re so quiet about him,” Shiro replied gently.  “I don’t know what happened, but it hurt you.  So I want to know how.”  Maybe he really should have dislocated Ryou’s shoulder.

“He didn’t hurt me,” Keith replied.  “Except by thinking he was you.  He- I was furious.  Everything he’d done felt like an attack on us.  It was _weird,_ Shiro.  He was distractible and distant, and he barely talked to us some days.  Every time we went on a mission, it was like today.  But everyone always agreed with him, and it was the whole time, and no one stopped him.”

Shiro’s stomach dropped.  He could see that so easily.  It was such a habit for everyone to listen to his orders.  And without a previous example and Ryou there, Shiro had little doubt he would have continued the whole mission.  “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Keith replied.  “That’s not what I’m saying.  I thought I’d messed up.  That he- that _you_ regretted picking me.  Until we found out he was a clone, and there was all this stuff in his head.  And then it made sense.  Of course he did all that.  He was trying to make me feel bad and undermine me.  He’d been trying to hurt me.  So I was- I was short with him.  Keeping him was dangerous.  Everyone believed that he hadn’t been malicious.  Except for me.”

Oh.

“And now I’m doing it,” Shiro finished.  “So you know it’s just me. Not Haggar.”

Keith nodded, head down.

Oh, boy.

“I’m sorry,” Shiro repeated.  When Keith lifted his head in surprise, Shiro held out an arm for a hug.  In a second, Keith was there, holding tightly.  “I’m sorry my reactions made you feel that way.  I know it was Ryou, but I would have done it too.  I promise, I made the right choice with you.  I’m so proud of you.  You stepped up, and you’ve made amazing progress.  All of you.”

Keith pressed his forehead against Shiro’s chest plate.  “Thank you.”

Resting his chin on top of Keith’s head, Shiro sighed.  “I know this is a hard position to take on.  I know it’s a strain, to push yourself and put yourself out there as a leader, and to know the weight your choices have.  But I always knew you’d do a great job.  I wouldn’t trust anyone else with my team.”

This time, Keith didn’t respond verbally.  Instead, his arms tightened around Shiro’s chest, to the point it might have been painful without the armor in the way.

“But it sounds like you need to have a talk with Ryou.”

Keith sighed.  “He probably thinks I’m a jackass, now.”

The absurdity of that made Shiro laugh.  “No, he doesn’t.”

“Now do you know?”

Shiro smiled into his hair.  “Because he has my memories.  And I could never think you’re a jackass.  I could think you’re hurting, or you’re being stubborn, or you might need to get your ass kicked in a friendly spar, but I could never think badly of you.  Not really.”

When Keith pulled away, there was a hint of redness to his eyes.  “Thank you, Shiro.”  He took a deep breath, visibly pulling himself together.  “I should apologize.”

It was on the tip of Shiro’s tongue to tell Keith that no, they just needed to settle things out.

But for Keith to be this quiet and reserved on the subject... well, he probably did owe Ryou an apology, at least a small one.

“You go on back in,” Shiro encouraged.  “Lance will probably be done with his re-enactment soon.”

Keith’s brows rose.  “Where are you going?”

“There’s one more person I need to speak to.”

***

The Black Lion lay in his hanger, eyes off in stand-by mode and mouth still open.

Shiro looked up, stomach twisting.  He’d never been so unsure approaching the lion.  The first time he’d been nervous, but determined.  The alien princess had just told him he was the person for the job, and Sendak’s ship was approaching rapidly.  There hadn’t been a choice.  It was do or die.

Now, it was do or have someone else do.  

Now, the Black Lion had a choice.

For the first time, Shiro understood Zarkon’s angry desperation.  Except Shiro had asked for this, knowing it would happen.  Hoping, even.  Desperate to believe that if (when) he died, the team would still have a chance.

They’d succeeded, but Shiro hadn’t managed to die.

So Shiro had to face the reality of what he’d asked for.  

He was ready to do that, now. Because Ryou was right.  They needed to know the truth one way or another.

And because Shiro had a good look at someone who desperately wanted the chance, but who didn’t get it.  

Shiro had never been one to shy away because he was scared.  Now it was time to prove that.

So he stepped inside.

Despite himself, Shiro hovered over the pilot’s seat.  There was no going back from this.  There was no more delaying the truth.  Either he was a paladin or he wasn’t.

Shrio sat.

The cockpit lit up.

Relief flooded him like a physical thing.  Shiro gripped the handles hard and leaned forward, nearly curling in on himself as he fought off tears.

It had been because Ryou was a clone, not because the Black Lion rejected Shiro.

It was selfish, but _thank god._

The lion purred around him.   _Mine._  The noise said.   _You and Keith are mine.  Both.  Just as both are Red’s, and both are Blue’s.  Can be both.  Not not-mine.  Not enough._

Not enough what?

There was no direct response, just the thrum of energy.

Quintessence.  Ryou didn’t have enough Quintessence to pilot Black, the most draining of all the lions.

_Enough to speak for seconds.  Not enough.  But I have two.  So do others._

Shiro’s eyes fell shut, and behind them he could see a glittering web of color.  Each lion didn’t connect to every paladin, but everyone could work with at least one.

Including Ryou.

Shiro’s brows shot up.

The current configuration was the best for the five paladins they’d had at the time.

But that didn’t mean it was the _only_ configuration.

“Well,” Shiro murmured.  “How about that?”

This changed some things.


End file.
